Women in the Time of Corona
Every day at KIDS Center, we see caregivers endure unexpected challenges and make tough decisions for the sake of their children’s well-being. In 2020, parents had to make especially difficult decisions as they navigated the health concerns and economic devastation caused by a global pandemic. They simultaneously faced the upset of work and school routines, often bringing both the classroom and staff meetings into their homes. This Mother’s Day we pause to recognize the toll a year of pandemic has taken on the state of women, and to explore how these issues may be even more challenging for women who are working to help their children overcome child abuse.
Women were especially impacted by what Wellsley Center for Women has called the “She-cession”, referring to the over 2.3 million women who left the workforce during the first 12 months of the pandemic. Women, who continue to do the lion's share of unpaid home and care work, are four times more likely than their male counterparts to leave the paid workforce to address the needs of their families at home.
In 2020 women in the U.S. were paid just $0.82 for every dollar men were paid, contributing to the likelihood that women (in opposite-sex, dual-income relationships) would leave their paid positions before their partners as the economically sound choice for their households. Women’s participation in the paid economy has fallen to numbers last seen in 1988; currently only 57% of adult women are working or looking for work. The mass exodus of women from the workforce threatens the slow progress that has been made towards gender equity and opportunities for women in the paid workforce.
What do these statistics say about the state of women in the time of Corona? They bring to light how these long-standing issues of gender inequality are being compounded by the broader forces brought on by the pandemic, and are therefore even more of a threat today. These statistics also make apparent that the challenges which are personal (family needs, mental health struggles, burnout, etc.) are being felt collectively and are the result of systemic issues in our society, not merely the burden or failings of the individual.
What we Need Now - A Silver Lining?
Many business strategists and employers have recognized the need to adapt their policies and expectations in the time of COVID to better support their employees, especially working moms. Parent’s Magazine suggests that there could be a silver lining in the spotlight—the pandemic has turned on the balancing act that modern working parents face every day. As employers, policymakers, and the public come to terms with the needs of working parents, there may be an opportunity to adapt many of the public policies that were made during the pandemic to create some lasting change. Policy shifts supporting low-cost childcare, additional family leave, more parenting resources, and increased access to mental health services, for example, would further lessen life stressors impacting women and their families.
Heart Check - with a KIDS Center Therapist
As a child and family therapist, I have seen how the pandemic has impacted the mental health of families firsthand. A theme across working mothers, single-mothers, homeschooling mothers, etc., is an expectation to maintain the same personal, household, and academic standards for themselves and their children as they had before the pandemic. A part of that, surely, is connected to grieving the loss of their lives pre-pandemic and not wanting to acknowledge the breadth and depth to which COVID has negatively impacted our everyday lives. Another aspect of this is the perpetuation of unrealistic responsibilities placed on mothers being the superhuman mom, juggling any combination of the exorbitant “mom duties” with personal and/or professional duties.
To all the moms out there: we see all the emotional and logistical gymnastics you are performing every day to make ends meet. You are not superhuman, and it is so important to give yourself a break – however and whenever that is for you. We need to recognize the contortions you are in, and instead of complimenting or congratulating you on it (so that you continue to strive for this impossibility) our community needs to recognize and allow space for you to be human: to take care of yourselves FIRST, to let go of extraneous commitments in your and your kids’ lives, to include everyone in your home in chores/household responsibilities, etc. This could look like: scheduling alone time for yourself, meeting up with a loved one (matching your comfort level of in-person/virtual), setting boundaries on commitments that do not serve you or your kids, modeling saying “no” to something when you feel overwhelmed or need to rest, teaching your kids how to do chores which, in turn, fosters both self-reliance and teamwork.
We Stand with You
At KIDS Center, our staff come alongside caregivers who are navigating a myriad of challenges daily. As we provide therapy and family advocacy services for mothers, we will continue to stay mindful of these layered societal stressors, and consider how to help our clients navigate these obstacles during this especially difficult time. We recognize all that you do for your children, your families and yourselves. We feel it is important to name the inequities, policies and societal expectations that make it harder for female caregivers to thrive. The pressures and losses currently being experienced by women are collective and systemic. We are not failing; our societal norms, workplace policies and governing systems are not seeing us and we are feeling that impact. Let’s notice together. Let’s breathe deeper and rest together. So that we can speak up and expect better, together.
Links for Further Learning:
Parents Magazine: How the Pandemic Has Changed The Game For Working Moms—And What Comes Next
Vox.com: How the pandemic is forcing women out of the workforce, explained in a comic
Time Magazine: Women and the Pandemic
NPR: https://www.npr.org/2021/02/18/968930085/almost-a-year-into-the-pandemic-working-moms-feel-forgotten-journalist-says **this also has a “Fresh Air” episode that’s about 42min.
Additional Sources:
https://www.thelancet.com/pdfs/journals/lancet/PIIS0140-6736(20)31418-5.pdf
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7234726/
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/joms.12628
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/11/18/what-leaders-must-do-to-keep-women-at-work-says-ritual-founder.html
https://nwlc.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/January-Jobs-Day-FS.pdf
Co-authored by Kaitlin O’Donnell, Family Advocate, and Morgan Hirsch, Child and Family Therapist
