Day 9: Inappropriate Posts
Safe & Sound is a free 21-day program to help parents, grandparents and caregivers protect children from abuse. Developed by Oregon Child Advocacy Centers, this Safe & Sound program for Central Oregon is brought to you by KIDS Center in collaboration with Protect Our Children.
Welcome to Day 9 of Safe & Sound!
Today we’re taking about unsafe online behavior that can have a significant impact on kids.
We’re talking about sexting and other inappropriate posts.
If the thought of your kid sexting makes you cringe, we understand. And while this topic may seem to only apply to older youth, there are lessons in here for the younger set. You can lay the groundwork by talking about inappropriate posts with younger kids. Discuss what’s appropriate to post and send and what isn’t. This isn’t limited to nude photos or videos. For example, we can use conversations about cyberbullying to connect to this idea. You can say, “It isn’t appropriate to post untrue things about people because it can really hurt someone’s feelings. What other things would be inappropriate to post?”
How to talk about sexting.
For those of us who have older children, here are some tips and guidance on how to talk about sexting.
Let your teen be the expert.
Avoid “why” questions that can bring judgment, and stick with “how” and “what” questions that encourage reflection. For example, rather than say, “Why would anyone send nudes?” you might say, “What are some of the reasons that youth today sext each other??”
Encourage critical thinking.
Start with questions that will help teens assess the risk and anticipate the consequences of sexting. For example, “What would happen if you didn’t send a nude photo when someone asked you to?” Help them problem-solve how to handle tricky virtual interactions by asking questions like, “What are some ways you can manage what’s going on?” If you discover that your teen is engaged in sexting, remind them of the real-world consequences. Be clear with your teenager about your family values, expectations, and potential consequences when it comes to sexting.
Teach your children that the buck stops with them.
If someone sends them a sexy photo, they should delete it immediately. It's better to be part of the solution than the
Be the askable parent.
Teach your kids that they can come to you when they’re facing tough situations. Reassure your teen that you are there to support them. And let them know that you understand how they can be pushed or dared into doing something.
Start now. Don't wait for an incident to happen.
Talk about the consequences of sexting before it happens to your child or any of their friends. Sure, talking about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but it's better to have the talk before something happens.
Today’s Activity and Conversation Starters
Elementary-school kids: Ask your child what they would consider to be an inappropriate post.
Conversation Starter
What are ways someone could be inappropriate online? Or make you feel uncomfortable or even unsafe?
Middle-school kids: Be curious. Sit down and ask your child if they or their friends have experienced sexting or sent or received posts that in hindsight were inappropriate. Ask if anyone in their friend group has dealt with being asked for a nude photo or video. Ask your child what they would do if someone asked them to send an inappropriate post.
Conversation Starters
What are your boundaries when other people are interacting with you online?
I want to talk about something that might affect you or your friends. It is about photos and videos that are sent online or electronically. But first I want to know what you already know about sexting and sending photos and videos of individuals that aren’t clothed.
High-school kids: Be curious. Sit down and ask your child if they or their friends have experienced sexting or sent or received posts that in hindsight were inappropriate. Come up with ways to say no to a sext request. Go back over the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
Conversation Starters
When does sending or asking for a picture become inappropriate?
If you were to receive a sext request how would you respond?
What would happen if you said no to a request?
That’s it for Day 9! See you tomorrow!
More ways to participate in Safe & Sound:
Visit the 2024 Safe & Sound page and catch up on daily activities.