Easing the Transition to the Classroom: Tips for Parents with Young Kids
Gabrielle Allender, LCSW, - Director of Client Programs and Prevention
Parenting young children is rewarding and also challenging. During times of transition, feelings of being overwhelmed and uncertainty can take over. For some, the transition back to in-person schooling is quite exciting and offers a sense of relief to families. Imagine working (or trying to work) from home kid free? What a concept! For others, this transition will induce feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. And it’s not only us experiencing these feelings, our kids are too. Their emotions may be rooted in separation or social anxiety after not being away from you or being with peers for almost a year. Although uncomfortable, all these feelings and emotions are normal, even expected, and definitely okay. Since younger children are less able to understand and give reason to their feelings, or communicate them to adults, it’s important that we are present and available to offer support. Kids are resilient and a little extra connection goes a long way!
Here are a few ways to show understanding and make the transition back to school a more positive experience for your family.
Connect with your child. Showing empathy by spending time together, sharing a hug, high-five, or snuggle reassures your child that you care. This builds trust which is foundational to healthy communication and relationship building.
Help your child understand what to expect. Transition is easier when we know what’s going to happen next. Understanding what the day will look like, helps us prepare and decreases anxiety. For example, talk to them about waking up and eating breakfast early, getting on the bus and saying goodbye. Remind them that their friends and peers are likely feeling a bit anxious too.
Develop and maintain a daily routine. This is key, but especially during times of transition. Kids thrive when given boundaries and consistency even when they present with resistance in return! Structure provides a sense of safety knowing that they are not in total control. Do your best to maintain a regular meal and bedtime routine, play is important and so is rest!
Offer choices. For good reason, more often than not, children don’t get to choose how things are done. So, when possible, give them the opportunity to share their voice and choose between two breakfast items or what they want to wear to school. Appropriate choice offers autonomy, creativity and can make hearing “no” a bit easier.
Transitional object. For younger children, a transition object may ease the ride to school. Perhaps it’s a favorite stuffed animal, picture or toy. Leaving a special note in your child’s lunch box or backpack is a fun a reassuring mid-day surprise!
Talk about their feelings. Just like us adults, our children want to be heard and understood. Demonstrate understanding and empathy by asking simple questions and reflecting their feelings. For example, “Is there anything that makes you excited about going to school today?” “Is there anything that makes you nervous?” Or, “It sounds like you’re feeling worried. Do you want a hug?” “I hear that you don’t want to go to school today. All kids feel that way sometimes.”
Give yourself grace. As a parent, we want to see our children happy and when they aren’t it pulls on our heart string. Give yourself grace and know that you are supporting them the best you can. Your presence through all the ups and downs is the most important thing you can offer your child!
