KIDS Center Therapy: Supporting Teens as They Return to School
For my teen children and clients, the last ten months have been a roller coaster of emotions. They abruptly lost their social connections, were limited with their academics and unsure about their future.
Teenagers have a particular sense of loss stemming from the Covid-19 shutdowns. Their rights of passage directly related to school were gone. Friday night football games, homecoming, prom and graduation, were abruptly taken from them with no guarantee of being back soon.
The act of attending school itself became foreign and frustrating to everyone, including their well-meaning teachers, struggling to instantly adopt to online instruction. For many teens, it felt empty and “stupid.” For others, even the act of attempting to access their classes was difficult due to lack of sufficient internet access. Some teens simply gave up.
Much attention was given to the mental health of teens since Covid-19 appeared. Appropriately, there was concern about the isolation forced upon them when schools closed. Now, as a hybrid opportunity to return to school has finally emerged, I asked many high schoolers how they felt about it, expecting relief, joy or at least resignation. What I heard along with hope for normalcy was worry, confusion and continued frustration.
Even in the best of times, going back to school can be difficult. For Covid-19 affected teens, the idea of returning to school now has complicated layers of worry.
Some worry about the virus itself. Perhaps it is too soon to return safely. Other teens worry about the academics. They are aware their schooling has not been rigorous and believe they may fail if the schools expect them to “make up” what was lost over the past school year.
Finally, for those teens who experienced significant isolation during the shutdown, there is increased anxiety about the social aspect of returning to the company of their peers. Perhaps even the act of leaving their families after months of togetherness feels wrong.
As parents and caregivers of teens, we can help them make sense of what they’re feeling by:
Acknowledging the return can now feel as foreign and scary as the initial loss will help normalize what they are feeling.
Validate the anger and sadness they may be feeling. Those rights of passages may not look or feel the same with masks, social distancing and perhaps even no spectating.
Try to reduce your own anxiety and worries
Reinforce the positives of returning to school.
