Day 2: Body Safety
Safe & Sound is a free 21-day program to help parents, grandparents and caregivers protect children from abuse. Developed by Oregon Child Advocacy Centers, this Safe & Sound program for Central Oregon is brought to you by KIDS Center in collaboration with Protect Our Children.
Welcome!
It’s Day 2 of Safe & Sound, and our topic is the safety talk many kids miss.
You’ve probably already had many safety talks with your child—like wearing a bicycle helmet or washing hands after using the restroom. As parents and caregivers, we want our kids to be safe. But sometimes we skip a crucial safety talk because it makes us uncomfortable, or we don’t know much about it, or we just don’t understand how important it is.
We’re talking about body safety.
Even if you’ve talked with your child about their body, it’s important that you have the “whole talk.” Talk with them about body parts, body boundaries, and appropriate touch. The younger a child is, the easier it is to start these conversations, but you can absolutely begin at any age! Kids are never too old to talk about body safety. Teens can definitely benefit from conversations about body boundaries and types of touches. Start talking and keep talking with your teen. As your teen gets older and experiences different types of situations, they’ll know you’re still there and available to talk.
Here are some guidelines for talking with kids about body safety.
How to talk body safety with younger kids.
Talk about body parts. When you normalize the names of private body parts—such as penis, vagina, breasts, and bottom or buttocks—you help reduce any shame or confusion surrounding these parts. You also create an easy “in” to talk about which body parts are considered private and why. Be sure to include the mouth in these discussion—because the mouth can and should be considered a private body part.
Discuss body boundaries. Start with an important boundary: no one should ever touch your private parts nor should they make you touch theirs. Let your child know that they get to decide who touches them. They get to set boundaries with family members and friends. Allow your child to decide whether they want to receive or give a hug. They can easily give a high five, fist bump, or a wave instead. And have them start asking for permission to give hugs to other people. Consent goes both ways.
Talk about touch. First, know the right way to talk about touch. Terms like “good touch” and “bad touch” can confuse kids, because abuse (specifically sexual abuse) does not necessarily feel bad physically. It’s more clear if you talk about touch as, “comfortable vs. uncomfortable” or “appropriate vs. inappropriate.” Discuss scenarios where certain kinds of touches are OK—like when a doctor is checking to see if your body is healthy.
How to talk body safety with older kids and teens.
Use media to make it relevant. Older kids and teenagers are connected to media at a whole other level. Use social media, a tv show, or a movie to ask them what they think about different situations involving body safety. Empower them to share their opinions—it shows that you care about what they think and how they approach situations.
Share your own stories. Sharing a personal experience about body safety can make you feel vulnerable—but sharing your experiences sets a powerful example for your teen. You can make these kinds of conversations easier by choosing a place where you feel comfortable to share.
Connect it to their friends. These kinds of conversations aren’t just for your teen’s benefit—help them understand their friends can be safer as a result. Teach your teen about potential red flags. Talk about how they would handle it if a friend confided in them about abuse. Let your teen know that they never have to carry that burden of disclosure on their own. They can always bring those situations to you and ask for help. Be ready and willing to make a report to help protect your teen’s friend.
What if something comes up?
If, during one of your talks, you learn about abuse, keep calm. And follow these tips.
Today’s Activity and Conversation Starters
Young kids (0-4 years old): Have your child point to body parts as you call them out. Use anatomically correct names! Have a conversation about what parts are considered private and why.
Conversation Starter
Did you know that no one, not even me, should touch your body (especially your private parts) without you saying it is ok? Let’s practice saying no thank you to someone who is coming up to give you a hug and you don’t want it.
School-age kids (5-10 years old): Ask your child to give examples of safe, unsafe, and unwanted touches. Review names of body parts.
Conversation Starter
What are a few ways you can let another person know that you don’t like how they are playing with you?
Tweens and teens (11-17 years old): Pick a movie where issues of body safety come up. (Some suggestions: Sixteen Candles, 10 Things I Hate About You.) Get a movie night on the family calendar. When you watch the movie together, be ready to talk about safety issues afterward.
Conversation Starter
How do you see your friends responding to situations where their body safety is at risk? What would you do if you find yourself in those kinds of situations?
That’s it for Day 2! See you tomorrow!
More ways to participate in Safe & Sound:
Visit the 2024 Safe & Sound page and catch up on daily activities.